Naruto: My Life Is Average
by Lil Nizzer
Summary: What would happen if the characters on Naruto could submit story's to My Life Is Average? Read and find out! :P
1. The Guys in Black Cloaks With Red Clouds

_Akatsuki MLIA_

Today, my arm was sucked into a parallel dimension and was ripped off. The sad thing is it's happened before. MLIA

The other day, I ate a fish. It was salty. MLIA

Yesterday, my little brother tried to kill me. He failed. The only problems is that I want him to kill me I was trying to let him win but obviously doesn't hate me enough to pull it off because he was trying… I am depressed. MLIA

The past three years I've been trying to take over the world by killing people and ripping monsters out of their souls. It's taking too long so I'm going to try the Barnie and Clown approach and scare children into obeying me with false love and terrifying outfits. MLIA

When it rains I melt. Up until today I never understood why people call me a wicked witch. MLIA

I Googled "Sasori's favorite food". Some retard said it was peach cobbler. I am a puppet and cannot eat. MLIA

On Halloween I got a lot off "Your costume is awesome" and "You look cool" because I was in fighting form. The looks on their faces when I dismembered myself in front of them was priceless. MLIA

I took out the trash. Tobi is a good boy. MLIA

I was playing poker yesterday and Lady Gaga's Poker Face came on. I won. MLIA

Today my doctor diagnosed me with a bipolar disorder. I corrected him saying I just had a split personality. MLIA

I tryed to control- (everyone else) YOUR NOT IN THE GROUP ANYMORE! (sniff sniff) For some reason when I hear the song One Little Slip my life comes to mind. MLIA

_1. Deidara_

_2. Kisame_

_3. Itachi_

_4. Pein_

_5. Konan_

_6. Sasori_

_7. Hidan_

_8. Tobi_

_9. Kakuzu_

_10. Zetsu_

_11. Orochimaru_

_These numbers are for those of you who COULDN'T figure it out._


	2. Team Kakashi

_Squad 7 MLIA_

A while back, the love of my life knocked me out and left me on a bench in the middle of the night. I woke the next morning with a headache, wandering why I even liked him in the first place. MLIA

Today I found out Jiraiya is dead. I am sad because there will be no more Make Out Paradise books. MLIA

The other day, I finally found my best friend, Sasuke, he got really close to my face. I noticed his cut wrists. MLIA

I'm not on this team any more, hn. MLIA

_1. Sakura_

_2. Kakashi_

_3. Naruto_

_4. ...Sasuke_


	3. Team Guy

_Team Guy_

Today I realized my job was completely composed of throwing things around. Guy sensei asked me to play darts with him. I refused. I feel proud of myself. MLIA

A man came up to me yesterday and put his arm around me. He then continued to say, "Hey sweet thang how much would it cost to get into those panties of yours?" I am male. I told him this he asked me if I was a transvestite. I looked him dead in the eye and said "Your mom." he left. MLIA

This morning Guy sensei said he would give me a sucker if I improved my speed. Neji and Tenten laughed hysterically. I still don't get it. MLIA

A week ago I lost a bet and had to shave my head because of said bet. I came out train my students yesterday with my hair like this . One of my students, Rock Lee, freaked out and cried at my feet asking why I didn't inform him of my change in hair. Today he came with a shaved head. I have renewed faith in my soul-buddy. MLIA

_1. Tenten_

_2. Neji_

_3. Rock Lee_

_4. Might Guy_


	4. Everyones Favorite Bad Guys

_Again Akatsuki MLIA_

Today, Pein told me to do 30 pushups I stared at him blankly. He then laughed at me and left telling me to do some lunges. I have no arms. I wanted to cut myself but… I couldn't. MLIA

I went blind the other day, and for some reason everyone now asks me how many fingers they're holding up. MLIA

This morning, I found five bucks under my bed. I didn't lose any teeth but thank you tooth fairy. MLIA

I was listening to the radio and Heartless came on. I turned the station, In This Life was playing. Growling I turned the dial again and Breathe came on then Being Alive. I felt the world was trying to tell me to get a life. MLIA

Yesterday I pierced my tongue I then realized no one would see it unless I spoke to them. I called everyone together and gave a speech about cabbage being a fruit in Canada and It being a vegetable in Brazil. I told them all it was their next assessment to find out what they are in Japan. Deidara raised his hand a minute after I was finished and asked "I'm sorry I wasn't listening I was too busy looking at your new tongue ring" I told him he didn't have to go. MLIA

Last night, for the first time in a month, I went out with a girl and didn't eat her afterwards. I regret that decision. MLIA

Today, I was on my computer and the paper clip popped up. I thought it was ironic that I had a clip in my hair. MLIA

I overheard a conversation about shrimp. I asked where. They weren't talking about the sea creature. MLIA

My idol Hates my guts and everyone thinks I'm annoying. MLIA

I heard a joke. Three hours later I fell out of my chair laughing. Everyone else in the room stared. MLIA

_1. Deidara_

_2. Itachi_

_3. Kakuzu_

_4. Sasori_

_5. Pein_

_6. Zetzu_

_7. Konan_

_8. Kisame_

_9. Tobi_

_10. Hidan_


	5. The Sandy Peoples

_Gaara's Team_

This morning I cried "Blood! It's my blood!!" My sister thought I was on my period. Nice to know she knows I'm a boy, but I got plenty of tampons and the like out of this. Easily ruined my day. MLIA

Today I was hot. I got out a fan but didn't wanna mess up my hair so I just spread it out in front if my face. MLIA

I was fighting this guy earlier, and was failing miserably. He seemed to be able to predict my next move. Turns out he was the one that made all of my weapons. MLIA

_1. Gaara_

_2. Temari_

_3. Kankuro_

_Today, wonderful day, TODAY is Sesame Street's 40th anniversary I have decided to update all of my stories today. YaYz (stands up on building trowing loves at the 3 of you who read this) enjoy because I'm sending another chapter of this your way very soon... like in 5-10 minutes. Tehe :P_


	6. Baddies! NO red and black cloaks aloud

_Bad Guy Montage (excluding the Akatsuki)_

I wandered through the streets and saw the most perfect man in the world. What really grabbed me was his _EYES_!!!! To get his attention I of course; killed a woman, stole her face, replaced it with mine, challenged him to a fight to the death, told him to rip a scroll out of my stomach and bit him. I am male. MLIA… or not.

I went to a funeral. It was fun. MLIA

I'm mistaken for a girl frequently. I like ice and mirrors. I have devoted my entire life to Zabuza. He let me die, nice to know I'm loved. MLIA

I bought a pack of card today. they were black so to make me feel better I infused them with chakra and called them a cool name. My Ninja Info Card. MNIC

I was sealed inside of a baby that farts every three seconds, almost dies on multiply occasions, and is constantly draining my energy. What makes everything worth it is watching him get turned down every time he asks the girl he likes out. MLIA

_1. Orochimaru_

_2. Raiga_

_3. Haku_

_4. Kabuto_

_5. Nine Tailed Fox (kyuubi)_

_Kyuubi counts as a bad guy cause he made Naruto's daddy die :( even though he killeded himself... T^T_


End file.
